Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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