he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
