ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
