If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
