SEEEEXXX PLEASE
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize