Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize