Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
