I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It all started with a game of naked twister.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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