I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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