I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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