I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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