Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
