I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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