I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
