honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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