Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
