all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize