somebody snuck up and got me drunk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
