So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
