And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
