So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize