no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
