So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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