When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
