I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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