So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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