So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
