I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
