Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
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