we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
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