I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
