was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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