You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
These tits shall not be calmed
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
