Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
