I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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