i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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