i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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