Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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