i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
