i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize
