i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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