As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
