I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
