You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
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