if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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