This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize