I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize