i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
be right there i have to get my cape
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
