the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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