In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
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