Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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