She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I cut my penus on the lid.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
