Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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