he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
