I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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