No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize