just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is my gift to your gina
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
