Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize