Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
