So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
