Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
