Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
