I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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