This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
