Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
