just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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