bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
