Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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