I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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