I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize