Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
