I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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